IS THIS NORMAL?

IS THIS NORMAL?

Clients ask me all the time, “Is that normal?”

What they really want to know is if they are somehow irreparably flawed. 

If there’s something inherently wrong with them. 

You want to be accepted. You want to be loved. You want to belong.  

We all do. That’s part of being human. 

So once and for all (even though I know you’ll ask again), yes, you are normal

In my 12+ years as a therapist, having met with all kinds of people from all walks of life, I have never met someone who’s not normal. 

Things That Are Normal:

Feeling anxious, depressed, uncertain, angry, grieving, resentful, etc.

Describing your family as “weird,” “dysfunctional,” or “messed up”

Not being able to find a romantic partner 

Having multiple romantic partners

Not fitting in

Identifying with many different labels/groups

Having big feelings

Not being able to identify your feelings

Being self-aware

Being ignorant

Having judgements

Not knowing why something is happening

Knowing why you do something and continuing to do it anyway

Not understanding other people

Having more insight about others than they seem to

Being very aware of your body

Not being in touch with your body or feeling numb

Noticing lots of different thoughts

Not knowing what you think

Knowing exactly what you want to do and why

Having no clue what you want to do or why

Knowing and doing things that bring you joy and make you happy

Not feeling much joy or happiness

Having lots of friends

Not having many friends

Being close with family

Being estranged from family

Enjoying alone time

Hating being alone

Wanting to constantly be busy, social, productive

Being bored, not wanting to do much, “lazy”

Being easily distracted, hard to focus

Being laser-focused, especially on certain interests

Having many different interests

Not finding many things interesting

Wanting to do things a certain way

Not caring how something is done


There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to being human. There is no normal. Who are you comparing yourself to? What standard are you trying to measure up to?

I tell my clients from day one, there is nearly nothing they can say that would shock or surprise me. Because however weird you think you are, whatever “crazy/nasty/disgusting/confusing/bad” thoughts you have that you tell yourself make you different from everyone else… they are 100% the same thoughts I’ve heard dozens of times over. And I meet with a teeny tiny fraction of the population. So imagine how many thousands or hundreds of thousands of people are walking around thinking the same exact thing as you?

And imagine those people are feeling lonely, alone, separate, weird, like a “freak,” an outsider, the “black sheep,” and here you are, someone who just wants to be accepted and loved. 

That is the norm. 

So notice your thoughts, notice your feelings, and practice being kind. To yourself and all those other humans who think they’re somehow broken, feel alone, and want to be loved, just like you. 

Let us normalize kindness and being human ❤️ 

Want to know what’s a much more helpful question to ask yourself? See my next post!

And if you want someone to talk about your “brand of weird” with, learn to accept yourself, and obtain skills to enjoy your life, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation today.