IS THIS NORMAL?
Clients ask me all the time, “Is that normal?”
What they really want to know is if they are somehow irreparably flawed.
If there’s something inherently wrong with them.
You want to be accepted. You want to be loved. You want to belong.
We all do. That’s part of being human.
So once and for all (even though I know you’ll ask again), yes, you are normal.
In my 12+ years as a therapist, having met with all kinds of people from all walks of life, I have never met someone who’s not normal.
Things That Are Normal:
Feeling anxious, depressed, uncertain, angry, grieving, resentful, etc.
Describing your family as “weird,” “dysfunctional,” or “messed up”
Not being able to find a romantic partner
Having multiple romantic partners
Not fitting in
Identifying with many different labels/groups
Having big feelings
Not being able to identify your feelings
Being self-aware
Being ignorant
Having judgements
Not knowing why something is happening
Knowing why you do something and continuing to do it anyway
Not understanding other people
Having more insight about others than they seem to
Being very aware of your body
Not being in touch with your body or feeling numb
Noticing lots of different thoughts
Not knowing what you think
Knowing exactly what you want to do and why
Having no clue what you want to do or why
Knowing and doing things that bring you joy and make you happy
Not feeling much joy or happiness
Having lots of friends
Not having many friends
Being close with family
Being estranged from family
Enjoying alone time
Hating being alone
Wanting to constantly be busy, social, productive
Being bored, not wanting to do much, “lazy”
Being easily distracted, hard to focus
Being laser-focused, especially on certain interests
Having many different interests
Not finding many things interesting
Wanting to do things a certain way
Not caring how something is done
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to being human. There is no normal. Who are you comparing yourself to? What standard are you trying to measure up to?
I tell my clients from day one, there is nearly nothing they can say that would shock or surprise me. Because however weird you think you are, whatever “crazy/nasty/disgusting/confusing/bad” thoughts you have that you tell yourself make you different from everyone else… they are 100% the same thoughts I’ve heard dozens of times over. And I meet with a teeny tiny fraction of the population. So imagine how many thousands or hundreds of thousands of people are walking around thinking the same exact thing as you?
And imagine those people are feeling lonely, alone, separate, weird, like a “freak,” an outsider, the “black sheep,” and here you are, someone who just wants to be accepted and loved.
That is the norm.
So notice your thoughts, notice your feelings, and practice being kind. To yourself and all those other humans who think they’re somehow broken, feel alone, and want to be loved, just like you.
Let us normalize kindness and being human ❤️
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Want to know what’s a much more helpful question to ask yourself? See my next post!
And if you want someone to talk about your “brand of weird” with, learn to accept yourself, and obtain skills to enjoy your life, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation today.