Short-Term vs. Long-Term Therapy: How To Get What You Need Out Of Therapy
Spoiler Alert: How long you need to be in therapy will depend on what goals you have.
However, there are a few basic things that will help you make sure to get your needs met.
First, think about why you actually want to go to therapy. Whether someone else suggested it or told you to try it, or even if you’ve always been curious or are ready to jump back in, what are YOUR reasons for wanting therapy right now?
People have different reasons for going to therapy and they’re all valid. If you want to go, go. You don’t have to wait until something is “that bad,” or until it’s “the worst,” or there’s a crisis of some sort. It’s actually better to have a therapist before something goes terribly wrong so that you already have the support you need, because it can take some time to find a therapist who’s a good fit for you. But if you’re already in the thick of it, finding a therapist you connect with is still very much worthwhile.
Reasons people start therapy:
Breakups
New Relationships
Lonely
Anxious
Frustrated
New Job
Lost Job
Family Problems
Communication and Misunderstandings
Relocation
Stress and Overwhelm
“Bad Habits”
Lack of Self-Discipline
Lack of Boundaries
Perfectionism
People-Pleasing
Lack of Self-Care
Parenting
Trauma
Grief
Illness
Emotional Neglect
Managing Difficult Thoughts, Feelings, and Situations
Substance Use
Problem-Solving
Decision-Making
Managing People
Role Changes
Life Purpose
And many more.
When you speak to a therapist either at your first appointment or initial consultation they will generally ask you why you’re coming in and how you think they might be able to help you. At least I always do. So it can be helpful to think about this in advance.
Over the first few sessions I will help you think about your treatment goals. These aren’t just your general life goals (which we can also talk about), these are specific to your work in therapy.
Think about what you want to get out of this relationship. How will you know if it is successful? How will you measure progress? Is it just about symptom reduction? (What most people typically describe as “feeling better”) Or do you have other goals for yourself and your life?
I don’t just want you to feel better when we work together. I want you to feel like you’re thriving and living a life you love. But that’s not going to happen if you just show up to see me once a week for 45 minutes and never think about our work outside of your sessions. That requires true commitment and dedication and the “hard work” of thinking about what you actually want in life and then taking steps to get there. It also requires patience, because just because you understand something doesn’t mean you can implement it immediately or see the results of your efforts right away.
So how long will therapy take?
Well that depends on what you want in life and what you’re currently facing.
If you just have one problem that you want help with and it’s pretty straightforward, therapy can be quite brief. Some people benefit from just 10-16 sessions. These people typically have specific skills they need to learn and once they practice and implement them, they get their desired outcomes (or they feel confident enough to implement them on their own until they do). These people typically have additional support and resources so some of that confidence comes from knowing they can get help elsewhere.
Other people have many complex issues they’re dealing with which will inevitably slow down the pace of our work. They might also have fewer other supports and resources. This isn’t a “bad” thing and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re “broken” if that’s the case. It just means you have more going on in your life that is impacting you. The good news is you don’t have to face it alone.
It’s normal for you to come in with one issue and then start working on another and another. Once we develop a relationship, it makes sense that you’d want to talk through different life things, even if it wasn’t necessarily the plan in the beginning. While we do plan your treatment goals in the first few sessions, we can always change them! You’re never stuck or forced to do anything. We make decisions together, as a team.
Being in treatment longer doesn’t mean anything about you as a person. Neither do shorter treatments.
You can always restart therapy and you can always find another therapist or someone who can support you in the way you need. Just remember that your needs will change and that’s okay too. The important thing is to communicate with your provider and let them know what you’re thinking. I might be intuitive but I can’t read your mind!
To talk through your current needs and whether I’m the best fit for you, schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. Be sure to look through the different sections of my website to find answers to common questions (e.g., how much sessions cost, if I take insurance, what my specialties are, etc.).