WHAT IS TOXIC POSITIVITY?
Here are a few excerpts I contributed to MyWellbeing’s article on “Toxic Positivity And Its Impact On Our Mental Health” by Caitlin Harper.
“Toxic positivity contributes to ‘all or nothing’ thinking, which is a type of distorted assumption that things have to be either all good or all bad,” said Alice Rizzi, a NYC therapist and MyWellbeing community member. “No one is happy 100% of the time, nor should they be. Humans are multi-faceted and experience complex emotional states.”
“Toxic positivity cheapens the human experience and makes us feel invalid for falling into ‘the wrong’ binary state,” said Alice. “It can bring on shame that you are ‘flawed’ or ‘broken’ if you don't happen to think positive thoughts all the time (which is impossible, by the way—we're just not hard wired that way).”
“Practicing mindfulness can help you identify and respond to how you're feeling in a healthy, compassionate way,” said Alice. “Acknowledging that something is there and naming what it is validates your experience. If you can admit that you are feeling an emotion, whether it's pleasant or uncomfortable, you can decide how to respond to it (e.g., taking a tap when tired or journaling when frustrated).”
“Alternatively, toxic positivity will have you believe that you ‘shouldn't’ feel uncomfortable and that something is wrong with you if you do,” she said. “This experience dismisses your very real feelings that may be trying to tell you something important. Also, being human is uncomfortable. It is much more the ‘default state’ than happiness ever was.”
Read the full article for additional healthy ways to respond to and replace toxic positivity.
I am Dr. Alice Rizzi, a psychologist in New York City and Brooklyn. I specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anxiety, stress, and OCD. Contact me today to feel better and achieve your goals!